# Love > Love begins with self-love and follows connection without demanding predetermined forms, with identification enabling telepathic connection. - Canonical: https://sassani.app/topic/love # Love Across these sessions Bashar treats love less as an isolated feeling that arrives for a special reason and more as a preferred state of being that does not need to be earned or justified by an outcome. Three threads run through the source material: self-love as the precondition for any other love, the practice of following a loving connection without imposing assumptions on its form, and love as the active identification through which telepathic connection becomes possible. ## Self-love does not require permission The sessions reject the idea that happiness and self-love need a "really good reason" while sadness and self-judgment come easily. Bashar frames the choice between a loving self-view and a depressive one as equally available. You do not have the ability to imagine what you do not have the ability to become; if you can imagine the loving version of yourself, that version is already contained in you, and the only question is whether you will choose to behave like it. You are a neutral being whose thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are the product of what you choose to believe is true about yourself; if you were taught that you are incapable of loving yourself, you will choose experiences that prove that belief — but the teaching has no special truth-status. It is simply a choice that may no longer work for you. Making the decision to love yourself unconditionally just because that is what you really prefer is presented as a good enough reason to do so. No special permission is required. ## Self-love is the first sight A connection with another person is treated as continuous with the relationship you have with yourself. If you are not in love with yourself, you cannot really be in love with anything else, because everything else is you — a reflection of you. To reject a reflection you are getting is to reject a part of yourself that you need to understand. Self-love here is explicitly distinguished from narcissism: it is the willingness to accept that whatever is unfolding has information for you, while still exploring possibilities for change without insisting on them. ## Follow the connection, not an assumed outcome Love at first sight is described as one of the most exciting things you can experience in life. The teaching's caution is that the excitement itself is the experience — it does not entitle you to a particular outcome. You do not need a particular outcome to justify your preferred state; circumstances do not matter, only state of being does. The practical instruction is to act on the connection to the best of your ability without assumptions about what it means or how it must play out. A connection may exist for a reason you have no cognition of in the moment; it may need to become a different kind of relationship than the conventional one. Sometimes being in love with someone means the best thing is that you are not "in love" in the traditional sense. The work is to let it be what it naturally needs to be to support everyone in the relationship, and to trust the timing. The only way to miss an appointment is to spend your life worrying that you have missed the appointment. ## Love as identification In a different register, Bashar defines telepathy (more precisely, telempathy) as emotionally activated identification. Telepathy is being in love: when you identify with another being very strongly, you begin to operate on the same wavelength, interpreting creation in the same thought patterns, and so you have the same types of thoughts synchronistically at the same time. The link to love is not decorative. The individuals who most often know each other's thoughts on this planet are the ones you say are in love with each other, and that is no accident — it is the same mechanism. The same session is careful that this is not literal mind-reading. It is creating the same thought patterns in your mind that someone else is creating because you identify with them so strongly. The implication, taken forward, is that becoming a telepathic civilization is less a technical achievement than a willingness to identify, cherish, and validate the differences among you, equalizing them into unity. ## Love across differing beliefs When asked how to support a grieving friend whose beliefs differ from one's own, the response is to respect the friend's framework rather than impose a metaphysical view. Bashar will not second-guess or force a change in someone's belief systems. Perhaps from a logical point of view the individual can understand that all things continue in a different form: energy cannot be created or destroyed, and consciousness is energy. Love, in this exchange, looks like presence without override — offering a perspective while leaving the friend's choices intact. ## Practical implications Stop requiring a reason to love yourself. The teaching rejects the asymmetry that demands justification for happiness while accepting sadness as the default. Preferring to love yourself unconditionally is treated as reason enough. Notice that imagination proves availability. If you can imagine a loving version of yourself, that version is already a real option; the work is to behave like it rather than to become worthy of it. Treat relationship as a reflection. A connection that triggers discomfort can be read as information about a part of yourself rather than as a problem with the other. Self-love makes it possible to receive the reflection without rejecting it. Follow excitement without an outcome. A loving connection can be acted on to the best of your ability with no assumption about its form. Let the connection reveal its own useful shape rather than forcing a conventional one. Trust the timing. Worrying about missing a connection is presented as the only way to miss it. Let appointments unfold rather than trying to guarantee them. Let love be identification, not surveillance. Closeness of thought arises from genuine identification with another being's frequency, not from monitoring them. The deeper the identification, the more synchronistic the shared thought. Offer perspective without overriding belief. When a loved one grieves from a different belief system, love is expressed by staying present and respecting their framework rather than imposing yours. ## Representative passages You do not have the ability to imagine what you do not have the ability to become. You cannot imagine what you are not. Making the decision to love yourself unconditionally just because that is what you really prefer is a good enough reason to do so.— Bashar, depression-and-self-love-are-equally-available (depression-and-self-love-are-equally-available#qa-1) If you are not in love with yourself, you cannot really be in love with anything else, because everything else is you, a reflection of you. If you are in love with yourself, not in a narcissistic way, you will accept that whatever is unfolding has information for you.— Bashar, Love At First Site Let It Play Out Naturally (love-at-first-site-let-it-play-out-naturally#qa-2) Love at first sight is one of the most exciting things you can experience in life. Stay in the vibration of love at first sight regardless of the outcome. You do not need a particular outcome to justify your preferred state. Let it be what it is, the reflection it needs to be to teach you how to be more of yourself.— Bashar, Love At First Site Let It Play Out Naturally (love-at-first-site-let-it-play-out-naturally#qa-1) Telepathy is emotionally activated. It is identification: creating the same thought patterns in your mind that someone else is creating because you identify with them so strongly. When you allow yourselves to be in love with each other, you begin to operate on the same wavelength.— Bashar, Expansion (expansion#qa-10) ## Related - [Relationships](https://sassani.app/topic/relationships) - [Self-Love & Self-Worth](https://sassani.app/topic/self-love) - [The Formula](https://sassani.app/topic/the-formula) - [Trust](https://sassani.app/topic/trust) - [Unconditional Love](https://sassani.app/topic/unconditional-love) - [Excitement](https://sassani.app/topic/excitement) Markdown twin of https://sassani.app/topic/love. The HTML page is the source of truth.