# Mechanism Of Motivation > Bashar explains that all choices flow from definitions about pleasure and pain, and changing definitions instantly shifts motivation and behavior. - Canonical: https://sassani.app/topic/mechanism-of-motivation # Mechanism Of Motivation Every choice you make is motivated by one thing: you will always choose what you perceive to be closest to pleasure and furthest from pain. That is your entire motivational force. Notice the word "perceive" — what drives your choices is not pleasure or pain themselves but your definition of what constitutes them. From Definition to Choice Your choices are based on your motivations, which stem from your definitions — your beliefs about what is pleasurable or painful. This three-part chain — definition, motivation, choice — means that anytime you make a choice, you are motivated to make that choice because of some underlying belief. Many times you may choose things that seem detrimental or destructive, but if you keep choosing them, that simply means you must have a definition somewhere that says regardless of how painful it is, it is somehow less painful than making any other choice. This is why getting in touch with your belief systems is so powerful: when you find out why you define something as pleasurable or painful and change the definition, you instantly change your motivation, and you instantly change the choices you make. The Hidden Definition Behind Unwanted Choices You always, without fail, choose the things you truly believe are to your benefit, and you always move away from the things you truly believe are not to your benefit. So if you keep choosing something you know empirically is not to your benefit, there must be an unconscious definition within you that you haven't discovered yet, attached to that idea, making that choice seem more beneficial than the alternative. Once you consciously identify that definition, you will see that it makes no sense and you will let it go. But you have to identify it first, or you have nothing to work with. A common hidden definition makes the unknown seem scarier than playing safe, which is why you avoid change even when you say you prefer it. How Motivation Works in Relationships Surface relationship friction — the arguments, the disagreements — is never really about the surface issue. It is always the tip of an iceberg, never the true root cause. The true root is a basic unfulfilled wish you believe is not being met. Dig deep to find what that unfulfilled wish is, then explore different ways it can be fulfilled rather than the one way that seems like the only way. You Are Not Lacking Motivation None of you lack motivation. None of you lack trust. It is just a matter of where you are placing your trust and what definition you are motivated to act upon. The mechanism of motivation always moves you toward what you believe serves you and away from what you believe does not. Practical Implications Understanding that motivation always serves you according to your definitions changes how you approach unwanted behaviors. Instead of judging yourself for lack of willpower, get curious: what definition makes this choice seem beneficial? What am I afraid will happen if I choose differently? Surface the definition, examine it, and if it no longer serves you, replace it. When the definition changes, the motivation shifts, and the choice changes with it — effortlessly. For relationship issues, look past the surface complaint to the unfulfilled wish beneath it. What do you believe is not being met? Can that wish be fulfilled in more than one way? Often the conflict dissolves when you find multiple paths to the same fulfillment. Representative Passages You will always, in every single case, choose what you perceive to be the choice that is closest to pleasure and furthest from pain. That's it. That is your entire motivational force. But notice, I said, you will choose what you perceive to be closest to pleasure and furthest from pain, and that's where definitions come in, because only as you define what you believe to be pleasurable or painful, will you then be motivated to make choices in accordance to that belief.— Bashar, Monologue Part2 (monologue-part2#text) So many times you may choose things that on one level you could say seem to be detrimental or destructive to you, but if you keep choosing it, that simply means that you must have a definition in your belief system somewhere that says that regardless of how painful it is to keep choosing that, you are somehow defining it as being less painful than making any other choice.— Bashar, Monologue Part2 (monologue-part2#text) You always choose, always without fail, the things that you truly believe are to your benefit, and you always move away from the things you truly believe are not to your benefit. So if you keep choosing something that you know empirically is not to your benefit, that means there is an unconscious definition within you you haven't discovered yet that is actually attached to that idea, making that choice seem to be actually more beneficial than the alternative.— Bashar, Tip Of The Iceberg Vs Root Cause In Issues (tip-of-the-iceberg-vsroot-cause-in-issues#qa-4) Once you have consciously identified that definition, you will see that it makes no sense and you will let it go. But you have to identify it first or you have nothing to work with.— Bashar, Tip Of The Iceberg Vs Root Cause In Issues (tip-of-the-iceberg-vsroot-cause-in-issues#qa-4) ## Related Markdown twin of https://sassani.app/topic/mechanism-of-motivation. The HTML page is the source of truth.